There are few things Kazakh people don’t get

Russky NIET???

//You don’t speak russian?
Really, local people think this is not possible. Because everyone speak russian, plus another language that they might speak at home. But EVERYONE HERE SPEAK RUSSIAN AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE THAT YOU DON’T!
I heard some comments that my russian is terrible and how couldn’t I learn it better. Most of the time it is a compliment as I can pretty much get by speaking simply Slovenian (Slovenian is still better option than Serbian.).
It is definitely very handy.

Married NIET??

Not married? (Worried and surprised face). No problem! We find you a 30 years old husband in Almaty!
People here take it very seriously, I’m pretty sure if I say yes, I’m married before my Kazakh visa expires. Having a boyfriend here is not an option – you are single and available until you are not married. Period. I actually got a ring and I usually say I’m engaged but you have to explain that immediately otherwise it means you are free and some worried mum gonna show you picture of their available neighbour guy. “Good guy, good guy!”

If you say you are married, questions why your husband let you travel alone will follow. Better have some good answer ready for it. And – where are your kids?? Married means kinds, engaged means no kids.

On “Are you married?” question, you better have a great story ready (people love it!)
No, I’m engaged and getting married in (bla bla bla). My future husband is joining me in a week, he was called back for work and gonna join me soon. Maybe add some visa in between and it will make people happy.

Taking a shared taxi or a train, local people will show you pictures of their kids and their kid’s wifes/husbands and grandchildren immediately. It is like a number one thing. “Hi, my name is (put something here) I am from (any “Stan” country here) and this are my grandkids (taking out the phone). I have 7 grandchildren, 2 sons and 1 daughter. Let me show you their photos …”
– “And you? Chekoslovakia?”
– “Yougoslavia”
– “Ahh, good place!”

Better have some photos ready as they want to see your potential husband and nephews also!

Tourist YES???!!!

No, something must be really wrong. What happened to you? What’s with all foreigners here that they are traveling here around? No, something is not good. Local people just don’t get it. People working in hostels do get the point of travelers, but in general – NIET. Asked at tourist info – “what’s the best way to get to ….”. Girl was laughing and the first reply was – “I will never understand foreigners traveling here around, but actually my job is to tell you the stuff and if you really want to get there … You actually really want to go there?”.

People tell you directly – I have never been out of Kazakhstan. Why would I go somewhere else? I went once to Almaty and that is it.

Not sure if it is a language or a culture issue.
– “Gost?” //guest
– Tourist.
– “Ahh, I like how foreigners use this new word!”

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