Was waiting to get a little bit pissed off with everything, that this post can get some extra touch before being published. 🙂 Those days I’m pretty much enjoying living on peanut butter and milk without sugar for my breakfast! Yes, we don’t need much to be happy … BUT 🙂
1.”Where you from?”
I literally get pissed off when this is the first thing fellow travellers ask you. No Hi, no Bye, just attack with “where you from??”. C’mon folks, please don’t greet me with that! Sorry, why majority of backpackers mean that this is like the most important question on Earth? My answer pretty much depends on my mood. But most of the time I get dots and spots [ta f* is this??], and can turn into an animal or became the most antisocial person ever. Recently I decided to stop speaking with people that start a conversation with “So, where are you from?” Sorry guys. Many other way more interesting people still around 🙂
– Here.
– Everywhere.
– Does it matter??
– Maribor. Where is that? [Not my problem, if you don’t know. Most of people will usually get that I that they should ask something better than Where you from?]
I hate to say Slovenia, because this follows after:
– Slovenia.
– I’ve never met Slovenian. / You are the first Slovenian I ever met! [What a surprise! You have more chances to meet someone from Sydney/Barcelona/you name it]
– In last xy months I also haven’t. Because we are not that many.
– So, how many people is in your country?
– 2 million.
– I’m asking for whole country, not for your city/capital. (Can continue …)
Especially annoying when you get some almighty European. Oh yes, they many of them are probably awarded as the smartest person on the planet in category “Geography of Europe”
– So, just remind me. Is the one that Bratislava is the capital? I’ve been to Bratislava!
– I’ve been there once also 🙂 No, the one you can’t pronounce.
– Oh, this Slovenia. But you are neighbours, right? [Please ask f* Google. I don’t mind if there is a person from other part of the world asking about the location, but is usually Europeans who want show their excellent knowledge of geography.]
– So, you are from Ljubljana? [Suddenly remembers the name of one and only city that (s)he knows. Sadly to chances to be from Ljubljana or some other place are not 50:50].
– No, from Maribor.
– And where is that? / What’s the nearest city? [The nearest city one actually made my day. Guy was apparently once in Slovenia and tried to convince me that he would definitely know where that is if I tell him what’s the nearest city called]
– It’s a city. And is the second biggest one. [Well, occasionally some football fan would remember the year we played Chelsea in Champions league.]
“Where you from” multiple times a day. F* annoying. I never ask people where they are from. Never. Never never never never. Not even when they ask me. I don’t care where are you from, as it tells me nothing about you. There are cool and annoying people everywhere. And there are better things to ask. Sooner or later they will tell you or give you a nice hint, if you haven’t already located their accent or by the way he/she looks. And yes, not all people looks like majority from their country. 30 ringgits is that much in NZ$. Sometimes people are almost impossible to locate on the map and many times they will just say by themselves – Yes, I’m Armenian and I feel like I’m Armenian and American as I grew up there. Or I’m Brazilian and yes, there is many Brazilians from Japanese descendants. Fair enough.
2 . But when it comes to stereotypes …
Spanish (speaking) person will pretty much always ask if you (by chance) speak any spanish and they are always surprised (and super happy), when you answer – claro. How the f* you speak spanish?
While Germans … I pretty much enjoy how they struggle with english and they barely notice in case you throw any german or english world to them while they are asking their friend Wie sagt man Praktikum auf Englisch? Germans never ask if you speak any German, even if you tell them that you lived there for a while. And in case they figured out your forgotten level of german, they fell super frustrated and bad, because they where chatting in German for last half an hour next to you not being aware that you got most of it. The thing is, they usually don’t speak anything bad. And there is nothing worse than drunk Germans. Dunno why, but for me they are seems like they all have a heavy personality disorder.
French .. French can be funny. They usually immediately try your level of French and than go their own way. Scandinavians are pretty much self sufficient groups, in most of time even more than Germans.
Aussies are usually fun. They are aware that they are not the prettiest people on the globe, but are really friendly. According to other travellers, annoying one never leave their continent so might be very different once you step on their land. [To be confirmed :)]
Americans sometimes scared till death and paranoid about many things. Not all of them but can be like 50:50.
Roommates you should be scared of?
Germans. Sorry guys again you 🙂 :), you know I still like you. And it is definitely not all of you who does that!). They will set AC to their bellowed 18º (when outside is around 35º with realfeel at least 10 more), and use their sleeping bags and zip themselves up tp the ears. Who the f* is carrying a sleeping bag in SE Asia? When you finally find a remote control somewhere under their pillow and put AC to something like 25º or turn it off I guess you end up on their hate list. Luckily they don’t know who that person was as all room was waiting for someone to do it. Is not my problem if you don’t know how to sleep in a shape of a starfish! Yes, we had a nice fight every night with the remote control. And the main actors were not germans. Luckily the “change AC every hour couple” is gone today.
Morning alarms. Hell, yes!
Every now and than someone in the dorm uses fire alarm song as their wake up plan. Usually those are folks that need at least 15 mins before they hear it and their alarm is set to at least 100 dcb. In that case everyone is awake and almost start running out as you are never really sure either is real fire alarm or it is just another a***. Yes, wake up plan. Not everyone is able to wake up every day. There are usually some nice chicks that snooze their Beyonce alarm (or whatever crap is it) at least million times. Basically, you do all your half day stuff from morning run to second breakfast and when you pick something from your room they are still there. And I’m pretty sure their alarm was definitely the first one of the day.
3. Traveller’s complaints
Those are the statements I hear so many times. Look, nobody forces you to travel. I know it can be really tiring sometimes and if you are going to complain all the time and have nothing better to say except what’t wrong with you, please shut up. We’ve all experienced delays and cancelled flights, you are not the only person and in the end you always manage to arrive where you want (in case you don’t change your mind). Yes, life is hard. And there is this thing called timezones and your friends everywhere around that are stuck in 9-5 jobs and is almost impossible to catch with them on skype.
Well, I met a lot of people definitely exploding from their energy, stories, plans and everything around and enjoying the life. But this is the part about complaints 😀 haha.
– I have been travelling for 10+ h. I’m sooooo tired.
Go to sleep than. Or take a coffee or a beer. Instead of taking 10+ h bus or train, stop somewhere in the middle for few days. You knew it when you booked it. And yes, even a 5 h ride can turn to 10+ h in some occasions. Count on that, too.
– I’m already travelling for 3 months.
So what? You should get a trip advisor certificate now? If you have enough go home or settle down. And don’t look down on people that came over for their (just) 10 days vacation.
– I don’t like (put whatever you imagine) food.
If you don’t like something, is your problem. And don’t be paranoid about xy cooked Thai/Indian/Malay way. It many times taste totally different. And yes, it helps a lot if you actually manage to learn those few local words of what you can not or don’t want to eat for whatever reason. I actually met a girl in Thailand that she was eating only in western restaurants. Didn’t even want to hear about me offering her few rambutan fruits. Well, but she actually didn’t complain about western food having western prices or at least 3 times more than local. Neither the taste.
– And I travel alone and …
Please learn how to keep yourself busy and don’t let other people babysit you for 24 h. The best things always happen when you travel alone. Period.
– I’m going to travel for a long time.
You’re so cool. Sarcasm. So what? Should a congratulate you for it?
4. Hostel Reviews
When I plan to stay in one hostel for more than a weekend or just a night I pretty much know what I want. Hostel’s reviews from other folks are excellent way to figure out if the place is what you want – they are honest and always tell what’s might got missed out in the description. And sometimes there is a douchebag behind it. And I definitely enjoy reading those! All those below are true 🙂
– “The hostel has no elevator. We had to carry our backpacks to 3rd floor ourselves.”
Maybe you should eliminate some of your stuff if you can’t carry everything?
– “I couldn’t sleep because another guy in the dorm was snoring.”
Yes, I agree it can be annoying. Maybe time to use your pack of earplugs? But it is not a reason to give a hostel bad rating because of snoring rommie. Go and wake up snoring guy, he must be used to, or most likely won’t even remember it – or he might leave another bad review coz there were people waking him up all night.
– “There was not hot water.”
Hostels in Asia usually mark it clearly if they have a hot shower or not. But sorry guys, how can you take hot shower in 35º?? I don’t even think of it! And btw, there is some secret ON button in the shower.
– “There was no privacy in dorms.”
Yes, because is a dorm. Put few more $$ next time and get a private room.
– “Certainly NOT a 3 minute walk from the train station! Usian Bolt would be performing miracles if he could sprint it in 3 minutes.”
I guess another douchebag with too much stuff in their backpack. Look on f* google maps and press walking directions next time. Hostel was actually a 5 mins walk.
– “Lockers are to small, I could fit only my 25 l backpack into”
Are you scared that your stinky t-shirts are going to be stolen and need to lock all your 80+ l backpack? Ta f*! Lock you documents, laptop and a camera. Amen. Reviews will definitely tell you when lockers are too small to put in your laptop!